Part 7: Makeup Store Heart Attack!

A year after I walked away form Collin I was working as a makeup artist while I was in college.  One day I am at the register ringing out my client, I am looking down at the register and when I look back up I see Collin standing not even ten feet from me. I froze. At first I thought I was seeing things. Then he noticed me and he froze...then said "Hi how have you been?" I say "good you?" He says "Good" Then I reply "Good" Then I look back down and when I look back up all I see is the back of his head rushing out of the store. Geez I worked at a makeup store. That was the last place I thought I would see him. He was there with his friend Amy...and when he says friend he means they are f***ing but not in a relationship. Collin is incapable of having girls as friends that he is not screwing.

After he left I started shaking, I had t o go in the back room and sit down. I started feeling dizzy. I was a feeling I have never had before. My manager saw me and told me to take my break. I rushed out of the store and went and sat on a bench. Then freaked out again because I was out in the open mall now, he could be anywhere! I sat by a girl I worked with and told her what just happened. Then I saw him in the distance coming out of a store. I ducked. It was freaky but I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it just a little. Where I worked we always had to be done up so I looked good. I thought well this was probably the best place to run into him.

A couple days later we some how ended up messaging back and forth on myspace. I seriously don't even remember why I thought it would be a good idea to start talking to him again. Wait I remember I never thought it was a good idea. I knew it was a plane crash from the start. I wanted some drama. The year that went by without Collin in my life was uber boring. I went on one date in that year, nothing happened with the guy not even a kiss. I had gotten so close and comfortable with Collin that even though I broke up with him because I knew it would never work, I still cared for him a lot and when we broke up I couldn't imagine kissing anyone else. So yes I started talking to him again because I wanted some crazy back in my life, no matter the price. It was kind of like a deal with the devil.

So we are messaging back and fourth for a week now. He keeps giving me his number in every message at the end saying hey you should give me a call sometime. His number had changed since the last time we dated. I was not ready to hear his voice. So I ignored the number everytime. Finally he brought up meeting for coffee. When I was ready we did, but coffee turned into a beer. I watched myself only had one! When I saw him he looked so so so good. Better than I remembered.  My heart skipped a beat.  He was always a great dresser and that got me.

We had great conversation the entire time. We had an entire year to catch up on. I didn't bring up our past. I have never been the type to hold grudges and I forgive too easily. I just think life is too short to be angry, but yes because of this I do get walked on sometimes. After a couple hours talking Collin mentions he only lives a few blocks away and I should come see his new place. I agreed and on the walk there kept saying in my head over and over "your not going to kiss him, your not going to kiss him!" We get inside he walks to the kitchen, I follow. He suddenly turns around and I almost bump into him, I am really close to him at this point. He's a bit taller so I look up at him and he gives me the look. I say "what are you doing?" He replies "I'm not doing anything." we converse back and forth a bit then all of a sudden he has his arms around me and we are kissing! Half of me is saying WTF! And the other half is in heaven. Everytime we kissed sparks flew, after a year of missing him...this kiss was explosive!

After I said dammit I told myself I wasn't going to kiss you! He smirked. We went up to his room and hung out and talked more. No more kissing happened up there, we where in his bedroom now and kissing only leads in one direction there. So I held my distance. The time came when I had to leave. He walked me to the door and asked if he would see me again or if it would be another year, I jokingly said maybe maybe not, smiled then went to leave. He kissed me again...damn him I thought. I drove away thinking shit my friends are not going to be happy with me when I tell them how this get together went. They weren't happy with me seeing him in the first place.

The entire drive home my mind was racing. I was torn between not starting anything up with Collin and just jumping in blind and saying whatever happens happens.