Something old...Someting New

I am from a small town. I don't go back often because I just hate the vibe there. If I stay too long it wears on me. After I left for college I would go back as least as possible. Nothing has changed.

I go back for one night...one night! And drama clings to me.

Okay time for some back story...let's just say My friend Courtney wanted to break up with her boyfriend Luke but didn't know how and out of convenience just stayed with him. But she cheated all the time, and checked out of the relationship emotionally. One of the last nights I was home before I moved away for college I go to hang out with my Courtney and Luke. All of us had hung out together a lot throughout high school so we where all very close...maybe too close that night. We where drinking and watching a movie when Courtney and Luke asked me to be in a pseudo threesome with them. They called it pseudo because it was not as extreme, no sex or really much at all just groping and making out. And I never made with Courtney just Luke. I am just old fashioned I guess, I have never done anything like that before and nothing since. I gave it a try and it really just wasn't my thing. It really wasn't a threesome at all, just weird. The next morning was pretty awkward too. Courtney left for work at 6am, leaving me and Luke sleeping alone in the bed together.

When I woke up it was even more awkward. "WTF was I thinking I thought, thank god I am moving away tomorrow!" I thought. Then I had to bring Luke to a mechanics to pick up his car, it was a very quiet car ride.

The next time I came home to visit I really didn't talk to Luke, and a bunch of my friends new what happened. Served me right I guess. Then the next time I came home after that I went to my friends for a party and Luke comes up to me in front of everyone and makes a scene "why don't you talk to me anymore? It feels like after that night we had together you won't talk to me anymore." I froze my face immediately turned red. I asked him if we could talk about this some place else. Then I just told him things felt awkward for me, I had never done anything like that before, and you had always just been my friend nothing more. I told him I was not mad at him, and I made an effort to talk to him from then on.

Finally my Courtney broke things off with Luke, I started coming home to visit less and less. Then boom 2 years go by and I hadn't seen Luke even once in the two years. Once your friend breaks up with a guy if you weren't friends before the break up it's easy to lose touch after. My and Courtney were still friends through it all so I was fine with everything.

I just recently visited my hometown for my sister's prom. I went to a bar with friends after I saw my sister in the grand march. I saw Luke, I walked up to him and greeted him with a smile and asked him how he'd been. He was good. We really didn't say much it got a wee bit awkward...it had been so long since I had seen him. II told him I would see him later and drifted back toward my friends.

All that night every time I would look around I would catch his eyes. He kept looking across the bar at me. I was feeling good, I looked great. I was about 15lbs. lighter than I was when I last saw him, my hair was longer and darker which suites me better than ever. He also looked better than I remembered. He was dressed to kill..so was I. This was dangerous...I was done with Collin feeling rejected and here was someone who I could tell wanted me. I kept telling myself look but don't touch. He's from your home town, used to date your friend and your on the rebound. Nothing good would come of it, but I still was going to have fun that night.

I was standing at the bar alone ordering a drink when he came up behind me and squeezed his way beside me at the bar. He gave me a nudge and a smile. I asked him what he had been up to. He said he was a soccer trainer at one of the private schools in our town. I was really happy for him that things were going so well. We had some more small talk than me and my friends hung out with him and his friends the rest of the night. Me and Luke ended up dancing a bunch, it was friendly fun dancing which I preferred much more to the heavy grinding stuff.

As the night came to an end my friend and I said our goodbyes and headed out to wait for a cab. Luke insisted he come and wait with us for our safety. It was cute. Once the taxi came I realized wow, I am heading back out of town in the morning and might not be back in town for months. I gave him a hug and said well maybe I will see you around sometime. I kissed him on the cheek and headed toward the cab he pulled me back and gave me a kiss on the lips and said you better.

I left with a little flutter in my heart. I knew the feelings were nothing serious just something I hadn't felt for a while. We got to my friend Stephanie's place, and she received a text from one of Luke’s friend's. She read it looked up at me and said Luke wants your number. I gave it to him, but at the same time I liked this mystery feeling of not knowing when we would see each other again. Oh well. He called me a few minutes later inviting Stephanie and me to his place he was having some people over. I asked Steph if she wanted to go, she was up for it. We went.

We got there, pretty much just hung out and talked to people. 5am rolled around and I was retired on the couch with Luke just talking. He had to work early so he cuddled up next to me and said I am just going to sleep here a bit before I have to get ready for work. Oh we will leave then I said, I didn't know you had to work so early. He asked me not to leave. So I just cuddled with him on the couch in the living room. I really didn't know what my friends thought of this. It was just Janet and Stephanie and they were cool, but I think they where just as surprised as I was by everything. The cuddling was nice. It was innocent. It felt like I was in high school again.

We left around 6am, I went back to Steph's slept until noon then left town. I got a text from Luke. About how nice it was cuddling with me. His mushiness really surprised me. It kind of was too much too. It felt a little too much like a relationship. He was being too nice, too cute.

I went to a bachelorette party the next weekend in a different town but all my close friend's from home were there. Jamie came up to me and said she heard that I was in Luke's room with him all night and people at the party could hear moaning. Later my friend told me Jamie like Luke and was just trying to get me to admit to something becasue she really only knew we where all hanging out at Luke's place. I already figured that Jamie is crazy always has been. My friend Janet also told me she talked to Luke and asked what's up with you and Lauren. She said all he said was all I am saying is Lauren is gorgeous; I have liked her for a long time. Wow I was kind of shocked. But I must admit it was a great confidence boost!

Luke and I text still every now and then it has been well over a month since that night and I like how it ended innocent. I really don't see anything happening we had a fun night and I like where we left things. I was proud of myself for being able to be around a guy as I was slightly drunk, and not act stupid or do something I would regret.

Maybe I am growing up...I hope so.