It had been a week since I broke up with Collin. Now and then he would call me when he was drunk and beg for me back on the phone. I'll admit I loved it when he called to beg for me back. I loved it so much I gave in.
We started dating again with in a month. It all started with him calling me from where he worked...which happened to be a bar. "Come met me here so we can talk." He said. I gave in. I got there and met him at the bar. We really didn't talk things out, but we sure drank a lot. I was drunk with in the hour. Now I really was f***ed. me drunk = no inhibitions. I will still think whoa this is a bad idea, and I'll follow that thought up with f*** it. I always regret my drunken choices the next day. This is why I will always have a sweet spot in my heart for Collin.
I went back to his place with him, I was feeling pretty randy. We fooled around a bit and then like a hot flash coming over me I wanted to have sex with him so bad. I told him, "I want you in me." WTF! Believe me I have no idea what I was thinking...I mean who says that! Collin looked at me smiled and said "I really don't think you should be making this decision drunk. I know you will regret it tomorrow." In my drunken state I took this as rejection and freaked out on him. "What! You don't want me?" "I thought you where crazy about me!"
The next day I had to wake up at about 6am so I could catch a bus back to my apartment so I could get ready for class. I left my clothes under Collin's air conditioner..., which leaked water. My clothes where soaked, except my shirt. I had to wear a pear of his board shorts (which pretty much looked like swim trunks) I had my shirt on which was more of a dressy shirt. Then my tennis shoes with no socks. I had a brown paper bag with my wet clothes in it as well. I was mortified. I looked like a bum; I had the trash bag and everything. Thinking back on that day still makes me cringe. I can’t believe I didn't just skip class. Thank god I took the bus early enough not to see any other class mated out and about on the way to school. That was the worst walk of shame ever!
On the bus ride home I received a text from Collin. He said, " I really enjoyed myself last night." I hate talking about a drunken night the day after. I know guys think comments like that make the girl feel all good inside. Not me, it makes me shudder. It ruins the moment. On this ride home I still was not sure if I wanted to date Collin again.
But I did...and boy oh boy was I in for another ride.
4 comments on Part 4: Weak in the Knees...and Falling off the Wagon.
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Think it is high time you really give this a good thought, and next time hey, make sure you and Col meet somewhere else not in the bar, as things may lead into each other and then eventually regrets! Why didn't you want to meet any of your mates in the previous encounter? Makes me want to think, but hey, all the best and may the best decision prevail, but just don't premise your worth on conditional values, there is something that is essentially you behind all this mask. Good Luck!
Thanks for all the comments! I wish I could have had all your great advice back when this took place...I am kinda telling my long 2 year story of me and Collin and all the crazy stuff that happened and eventually how I grew, and what I took from this expierence. The story is long from over so keep reading!
Wow, what a doozy! When I see situations like this, I just think to myself, "DRAMA!" I've realized that falling into the love trap with attached (married) men or men with a lot of baggage and such makes it difficult to live peacefully. You will be the "other woman" if you are with a married man and you know that men like that are capable of cheating on you later if they were willing to cheat on their wife with you. You are young (I'm almost 26 so we are in the same boat) and you have many opportunities ahead of you. Don't waste time with men that are married, treat you like crap or don't have any genuine interest in you other than what's between your legs. Thanks for sharing your experiences, I am enjoying reading your blog!